Depressed -> Relaxed -> Satisfied

I woke up this morning with a burden in my heart. I couldn’t comprehend what is in my mind. The feeling of being abandoned, being tortured, and being left out keeps on appearing and disappearing in my heart and mind. Some how something is wrong with me . anyway, went over to class with the sad feeling, and was feeling down throughout the day. Thoughts of death came out of a sudden, as I finished off my 2^nd class, OMG, It must be all the accumulated stress and pressure that is causing this crap….

”This cant be me, Jowen isn’t like that last time, what happened to me, Oh…..”

This is my thought the whole day in campus. I don’t know what was I feeling, and thinking. All I knew was I am sad and depressed. Didn’t have the usual jovial mood, and slept off in class too, which lasted for one hour. MAN,

“That bad huh?”, You would have asked…

“Yea, kinda screwed up the whole day because of this stuffs….”. Went for lunch alone, and didn’t have much appetite also, hmmmm, met a few of my friends, and we said hi, and that’s about it. Everything seemed so blurry and heavy upon me, and that’s something I wished I didn’t have. Emotions are good if you do know how to control it, but at this sudden moment, I was lost. I was confused, and I was astray……I used to be strong at thee kind of situation, but why not now??

At 5PM, I threw everything aside. I leave everything aside in my house, and went off alone wandering around the dessert city of Cyberjaya. I mount my bike, and went out cycling around the intelligent city for 1.4 hours, and I got to see a lot of new buildings and trees sprouting up from this ‘dessert’. From large huge buildings, to tiny squatters, this isn’t the Cyberjaya I used to see 2 years back, or was it not? This was my second time biking and wandering around the city, the first being last semester, when I first got my bike here, hehhehehe….its a good experience, as I went around, riding my bike like those Le-Tour-De-Langkawi racers, uphill and downhill i went, and nearly knock into one of the dividers, so much for riding freehand, :D

As I got back 80 minutes later, I feel a sudden burst of energy, and the spirits within me sprang up like a lion, waiting to pounce on a deer, and straight away, after I steped foot in my house, I changed and 3 minutes later, I was seen in the swimming pool, doing 30 laps each style. Boy, it was so refreshing, and I shouted as loud as I can from the pool, underwater. Bubbles popped up like boiling water, and everybody, from ground floor to 9^th floor of all 3 blocks, looked down at me ( Hey, but didn’t you say you shouted underwater? ) I hid myself from the world, and feel like staying in the pool for the rest of my life, like a fish, until some people nicely came and spoilt my heaven. Oh well, at least I am refreshed after 40 minutes or so..:D

I was darn tired as I finished bathing, and sat down at my chair, stared at the monitor, and thought of what God said in His word ”Never will I leave you, and never will I forsake you…..” I know what it meant from the start, just that before this I never paid any thoughts upon this verse. It had been on my mind for quite a while, and suddenly, this verse rang a bell (more like hitting a gong) in my head. If God said this, then I shouldn’t be feeling lonely, I shouldn’t have been depressed, and I shouldn’t have said no one cares for me… I was rejuvenated at that point, and feel a sudden rush of adrenaline to finished off my assignment and to read up on tomorrow’s test. The feeling of being spoken to by God is just AwEsOme, and to think of the events that I may do the next day made me even more ‘semangat’. Well, for once, I have not felt anything like this for a long time, and secondly, I have just been appointed. (What is that? Ask me personally..:P) felt satisfied after what happened in the night, and went to bed at 11.45PM

Good Night