Welcome to Jowen's page

The life, the thoughts, the feelings, the experiences, the challenges, the views, the emotions, and the ways of a young adult named Jowen...

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Gratitude and Thanksgiving

It had been a week I last updated my blog, thanks to assignments and tests. I just want to thank all those who had given their comments on my previous post, Time, and I hope it will make a difference in you life. As much as I like typing it out, I do hope you will enjoy reading it as well. These post that I have made, some are funny, some are serious; some are happy, some are sad I just want to share my feelings and thinking, my views and my goals to all of you all, and hope that you will grasp the meaning behind all this posts.


I really appreciate you who are reading this, and you who stumbled upon this blog by accident, and you who are my friend. I really do want to say a big Thank You to you.


I’ve been going through a lot lately. Stuffs that I have never experienced before, nor have I done before, is beginning to make its way into my life. Studies which are waiting to choke me with its assignments load, examination stress and also deadlines pressure, are set in place now. Feelings of guilt and sadness overwhelm me. Problems with peers and also relationship with people are beginning to take a nose dive. I wondered and thought whether when will all these things be over, everything is gone, everything is done for, everything is wiped out, I wondered….

" Cast your cares upon the lord, and He will sustains you "


"The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not be in want"
.
.
.
Even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil
For you are with me "


BAMMMM……. I was hit hard spiritually and mentally. I am being humbled, I am being crushed and re-molded, I am being ignorant to Him….How can I? How come?.


I was being too immersed in my own problems and my own world of thoughts that I have forgotten Him, The One who died for me, The One who gave me life again, The One who promises great joy and comfort, and The One whom I can call Lord and Savior….How could I ever forget Him?

"Where can I go from you Spirit
Where can I flee from your presence
.
.
.
My frame was not hidden from you,
When I was made in the secret place"

Through out this past week, I’ve been spending a lot of time reading The Bible. I always thought that the Bible is just anther ordinary book, which is read for knowledge and wisdom, but today I learnt that The Bible is more then a book, that one just read it and forget the contents. It is The Living Word, where the meaning of one verse could be applied to thousands of circumstances that one is facing. Every time I goes into problem, my friend will always cite the same verse to encouraged and to bless me, and you may say that it is boring sometimes listening to the same verse gain and again, but you are absolutely wrong if you think that way. The same verse had spoken to me, or had been my support for numerous occasion, where I really needed help and strength. Most of the time, if not all the time, it brings on a new meaning each and every time the verse is quoted. I’m beginning to understand the power of The Living Word, and also to grasp the reason, and the purpose I am here living for. It is not for me, it is not for my dear friends out there, but it is for Him, Jesus that I am Living for.


We change the things we want it to according to our liking, and there are certain things that cannot be changed, no matter how hard u try, and one of it is time. I’ve learned a lot through hard times, and it is then I am re-shaped and re-transform into a better person, living each day as righteous as possible, with Him by my side. It is a time where I exercise my faith, and to hold on to the great promises and blessings of God, and it is also a time when I am being strengthened by God. For when I am weak, He is strong!!

Below are some words of encouragement to you who need it, and it helped me a great deal to be able to appreciate and to say thank you for the things I have. It talks about looking to the positive side of things, when everything else is negative and against you. It also thought of being grateful and to appreciate what we have, hence the title of this post.

I am thankful for the assignments I have, and the exams that I have to go
because it means that I am still studying


I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party
because it means that I have been surrounded by friends.


I am thankful for the clothes that fit a little too snug
because it means I have enough to eat.


I am thankful for my shadow that watches me when I walked to university
because it means I am out in the sunshine.


I am thankful for a floor that needs mopping, and windows that need cleaning
because it means I have a home (Cyberia B3-2-1).


I am thankful for all the complains I heard about the university
because it means that we have freedom of speech.


I am thankful for the pile of laundry and ironing
because it means I have clothes to wear.


I am thankful for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day
because it means I have been capable of working hard.


I am thankful for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours
because it means that I am still alive.

I am thankful for you who are reading this
because it means that i have friends.


I am thankful for receiving personal and meaningful comments on my blog because it means I have friends who are thinking of and caring for me.

* A special tribute to you who had helped me throughout this trial . You know who you are. Names are ommited for privacy reasons. I couldn't have gone through it without the 4 of you. Thanks SO much *

Thank You friends...

Friday, February 18, 2005

Time

I’ve been trying to post up something’s here during the past few days, but tests, assignments submission prevented me from doing so. I just finished a paper yesterday, which brings it to 2, the number of tests for this past one week. Behold Jowen…there is one more test next week, and al the best to you…:)


I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since the beginning of this week. Sad things, happy things; deep stuffs, kiddies stuffs…all these thoughts floods my mind as I pray, as I play; as I eat, and even as I sleep, so much so that it drove me to do this write-up on Time.


It’d been more then 21 days since my 21’st birthday, and I realized on how fast time flies. Day by day second by second, we are living in a world where it is governs by time. So the big question pops in


What exactly is time?


According to Britannica Online,


“Time is a measured or measurable period, a continuum that lacks spatial dimensions.”


And according to WikiPedia,


Time quantifies or measures the interval between events, or the duration of events


Who created time? Well, this is an answer that everyone could answer. God. Why is time so important to us? I think that it is because Firstly, it determines our lifetime. Without time, we might as well be not living. Secondly, it governs our every day’s schedule, what are we going to do in the morning, afternoon, and night. Speaking of that, morning, afternoon and night are seasons of time where we wake up, have our daily routines, and go to sleep. The third thing about the importance of time is that it sets our everyday life in place. Imagine a life where time stands still, and there are no age, no seasons, no weather, no schedule whatsoever…..that would be bad


It’d been 3 years I studied in
Multimedia University, and memories of the first day I stepped foot in this university remains, like it just happened yesterday. Time will wipe out scars, and physical pain, but it will not erase memories, whether it’s bitter or sweet. I am still having problems with time management even now. Time is not by my side each time I do work, may it be doing assignments, or writing for my test, or studying for exams…


Time is gold
The wise men say
Do you follow?
Or do it your way?


Time is everything
Though some may object
But I do think
That we’ve been subject


Every milliseconds count
It may seemed insignificant
But it’s surely bound
To cause a headache,
It it’s cared less,
And left transparent


Time manages people
Or people manages time
It doesn’t really matter
As long as everything goes fine


Time can be against us
And at the same time, be for us
Let’s hope we would not burst
Nor we will curse


* Time is So important , -Jowen- *

I would like it very much if you would leave a comments as to what is your opinion on time, and any suggestion for me to improve on my time management. Anonymous comments will be most welcome. Thanks…

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

New Stuffs

Hi, I just included the new Google Adsense program and also Google function in this blog, just for the fun of it. Please do support by clicking on whatever advert that is there ya :D

* In the midst of exam *

Sunday, February 13, 2005

One Week

4 words – Gong Xi Fa Cai
3 words – Gong Hey Nei
2 words – Fatt Choy
1 word - $


The words above are used to describe my disappearance for a week from the cyber world. Mainly I was at home, and in my grandparent’s house back in
Ipoh, and the past one week had been so enjoyable and fun. Other then it being a holiday for me, it is also a time to usher in the Lunar New Year, which falls on Wednesday, the 9th of February.

Day 1 – 7/2
Went back to Ipoh, and started cleaning up the house and the porch in preparation for the New Year. Was happy being able to see my grandmother, and I went around town hunting for New Year’s décor. At night, had dinner and a good time chatting.

Day 2 - 8/2
It’s the Eve of Chinese New Year. Most of my aunts and uncle came back, and had a great time fellowshipping and “feilou-shipping” among us. Was fun and nice, with some cousins that I have not seen for a year, and all the babies that have grown so big, I began to wonder, 21 years old is indeed “senior” for me, Hahaha. I had a scrumptious reunion dinner with my grandmother, uncles, aunties, cousins and family, we had to sit around a table tennis’s table, and began our gluttony attempt. The food were spread out lavishly, and all of us had ur stomach filled to the max, with some having too much to eat, Hehehe….it was a fun time talking and yakking away with my cousins over dinner, and began to learned a great deal about them.

Day 3 – 9/2
“Duk Duk Chiang…Xin Nian Kuai Le, Gong Hey Fatt Choi…”

Woke up around 9AM, with the intention of getting the first ang pow given out, I changed to my new clothes, and began wishing everybody “Gong Xi Fa Cai”, from the oldest to the youngest. I had a super fun time being in the presence of my extended family, and it gave me a new insight into CNY this year. I’ve grown 21 recently, and the mood of CNY is not that “Geng” compare to previous years. I still remembered when I was in my early teens, CNY was superb, my ang pow money could easily touched RM5XX.00. hmm, talking bout economic boom here. After the 1997 economic recession, CNY also suffered a drastic drop in terms of ang pow money. Hmmm, those were the days……

At around noon, my granduncles and aunts came visiting, and I had a great time with my grand cousins too, hahahaha…talking about generations here, my family is the 3rd inline after my grandparents. So, during CNY, around 50-60 people will gather together for that reunion. Pretty cool isn’t it?

Day 4 – 10/2
Pretty much the same as the day before, except that firstly there were no ang pow’s to be collected. Secondly, 2 of my cousins arrived, and thirdly, I went golfing with my dad and bro. it’s at Clearwater Sanctuary Golf Resort, and we played 9 holes, all par 3. I had a great time hitting the balls, and picking up balls as well. The weather was cool, the ride was great, and I had great fun in the golf course. We stayed for 2.5 hours, and then headed back for dinner. At night, there were gambling sessions, and I being one of the “lan dou guai”(translated from Cantonese means addictive gambling ghost :P), I started playing with my cousins and aunts and uncles till there’s no more tomorrow ( Only once a year I got to enjoy this)

Day 5 – 11/2
More cousins came back to my “po po” house, and that means more ang pow. Hahaha….most of my cousins are married, and I enjoyed their company. For we were brought up together from young in my “po po’s” house. Hehe…..those were the good old young days again….*immersed in that nostalgic feeling*

And since this is the last day I am going to be in my “po po’s house”, we marathon the whole night, from 10Pm, till 3 AM.

Marathon what u may have asked?

Well, we marathon “dou qin” (translated means pour money a.k.a gamble). Hahaha…this marathon nearly cost my whole wallet, if not for the prompt rescue of my mum.

“Go and sleep, tomorrow you got to wake up to go back”

Well, there goes my time spent on the round table, decorated with color papers, some green, some red, some purple, and even some blue….and a deck of cards, plus numerous hands…

Day 6 – 12/2
Well, the time as come to say BYE BYE. When I was packing up, my “po po” came to me and advised me to study hard and not to let my parents down. I was moved upon hearing her words. It was words of love, care, and comfort. My “po po” had been staying with a maid and my aunt since3 my “yeh yeh” passed away, and I some what feel sad for her. Anyway, we left the place 2 hours before noon, and reached back PJ at around lunch time.


That’s my one week in
Ipoh, and to wrap up this Lunar Year celebration, it was good, and I enjoyed the company of everyone around me. From my po po to my family to my uncles and aunts to my cousins, I appreciate all of them. And also I would like to acknowledged those who sms-ed me to wished me, Thank You, you know who you are. Life s bored without you people….*hugz*


I have an exam coming up on Monday, and another on Thursday, and another one next Monday. Crap man, better get back to study. Ciao people and Gong Xi Fa Cai to all of you again…..

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Happy Chinese New Year to you



“Xin Nian Kuai Le, Wan Shi Ru Yi, Cai Yuan Gun Gun Lai…”


I hereby wishes all my friend who read this, a very prosperous and happy Chinese New Year , and happy holidays as well. Take Care…

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B3-2-1 Reunion Dinner

Hello people, it’s been a while since I not update my blog, due to some “stuffs” that needed attention. Stuffs like packing, playing, chatting took up most of my time from the “World of Blogging” & I'm feeling guilty now, muahahaha…


Chinese New Year is just around the corner, and where ever you go, the sound of “Duk Duk Chiang” can be heard miles away, people dressing up as “ Choy San Yeh Yeh” (God of Prosperity) giving out “Ang Paus”, red lanterns can be seen hanging on every lamp posts, and chinese decoration fills the interior of every shopping complexes.


“So what is so special about Chinese new year?


For those comrades of mine who are from different races, The Chinese calendar starts on this date, much like the 1st of January in the Gregorian calendar. Chinese’s people all around the world ushers in the New Year by visiting their friends and relatives who are from different generations, from the great grandparents to the great grandchildren. It is a time of gathering, pretty much like a reunion gathering of family members who are scattered around, pursuing their dreams and wishes. It is also a time of Ang Pau collecting, where those who are already married will give out the red packets, mainly to bless those who received, and at the same time, distributing their wealth, hehehe… children will love this tradition, which had went on for centuries, and it is the main highlight of the Chinese new year. There is also lion dance, where the specially trained lion dance troops will make their way to your resident upon invitation, and perform the dance. This is believe to changed the “feng shui” of the house, and to invite more wealth to befall the occupants of the house.


On Thursday night, the occupants of Cyberia Condo B3-2-1 (my housemates and me decided to go for a reunion dinner in Dengkil. It was a significant thing to do, as the 5 of us had been housemates for almost a year, but only have dinner together once. Yeap, just once, and we thought due to the coming Chinese new year, we go for a reunion dinner, to celebrate our friendship and also he one year of staying together. So off we went over to a seafood restaurant in Dengkil at 7.15PM


We called for 5 dishes, which includes fish, chicken, vegetables, tou fu and also pork, which is a balanced and healthy diet. We had our toasts, and also a great time of housemates bonding. Normally when we were at home, though we are staying together, we seldom talk to each other like how we do it in Dengkil, and even when we do talked, it’s mostly concerning tutorials and also academic stuffs. So this reunion dinner had reached it’s objective.


Then one of my housemates suggested we have “Lou Sang”. Coolness…. We asked for a pre-pack version of it, as we are gone do it at home. Then we stopped over at one of the groceries shop to buy groundnuts, carbonated drinks, kua chi and a lot more food. We chatted happily in the car, regarding everything.


The first thing we do when we reached home is to clean up the table and prepare the plates and eating utensils. We moved out our dining table, which was formally used to put books and bags and a lot more stuffs. It is a wooden table, and was put here by the landlord for our convenience.


The food were ready, everything is prepared, and on the count of Yi….Er….San, we Lou Sang!!!!!


I wished all of you will have a girlfriend this new year
I wished for 4 flat
I wished that we’ll do this again next year
I wished that all of you will be healthy, and never fall sick
.
.
.

It was super fun as we tossed and turned the pile of food on the table, together with the song played, and saying out what we want to achieved during the new year. Lou sang symbolizes the mixing of wealth, and it’s for business people, who believe that the higher you “lou”, the more money you will get in business.


I had a great time bonding with my housemates after that, and the fellowship of B3-2-1 will not end here. The legacy continues……

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Reason....

Everything that happens
Happened for a reason
Sometimes it is hard to discern
Still it’s meant to be pleasant

The earth trembles, the sea roars
Why? It seemed scary to the core
Still the reason of it all
So that we won’t be too conform

The hearts of humans so naïve
In God, they do not believe
Still the reason of it all
Is that we must learn,
To depend on Him more

In times of trials and tribulations
Let us not forget the reason
Of Him who died and rose ultimately again
In Him, there is love, joy and peace
Again and again…


I thought of the above poem when I was doing my quiet time this morning. The more I ponder upon the word “Reason”, the more I feel exited upon. Speaking from the human perspectives, our actions, out thoughts, our behavior are all driven by some reasons. It may seemed vague, you may have asked

“ What does reason got to do with what I do or think?”

but to me, it is the point of discernment and surrendering myself to Him to lead my way.

Many times I had failed in life, and that is not something out of the blues, for it is human nature that we do fail. It doesn’t matters how many times you fail, but what matters most is this question


“ What is the reason we picked ourselves up and walk again? “

“We are the Reason”, a song sung by the group Avalon touched me each time I listened to it. It speaks on why Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross. The reason is for us. He died to save us, and the beauty of that he rose again proved the reason for him to give up his life is not in vain. The reason for his death and resurrection is so pure, so wholesome, so untainted…..


Many times when something bad happened to us, we tend to point our fingers everywhere, blaming everybody around us. But how often do we step back and think of the reason it happened? Could it be because of our own rashness, we committed something bad, and caused all the problems?


This question had been on my mind for a long time, and I found out that the reason is this. God wants to mould us, and make us into a different person. Just like a potter who shapes the clay into a vase, so is it with God, who makes sure that we are perfect and flawless. The moldering process is painful, for the extra clay will be wiped away, separated from the huge pile it used to be before. And after those extra’s have been taken away, then the true beauty of the vase can be seen.

“Dear Lord, I thank you that you have shaped us and mould us the way you want it to be. It may be a painful process Oh Lord, but I know, that you have something good installed for us. I pray that your hand will continue to guide us in your path, and show us the reason these things are not happening our way. Your love is amazing, and I thank you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen…”

*****

> We Are The Reason - Avalon <

Verse1
As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys
We knew we'd find
But we never realized
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

Chorus
We were the reason
That He gave His life
We were the reason
That He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

Verse2
As the years went by
We learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark and cloudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
All because of love, all because of love

Bridge
I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him,
for Him

*****

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Post-Exam Entries

I Just finished my last exams before the Chinese new Year holiday today, it was the third paper to be conquered, with another 4 more to go after the break. The first paper being a mathematics paper, but given the name as Resource Management. The paper wasn’t tough, but it wasn’t easy either. One have to be sure of all the algorithms and the formulas before attempting the paper I had a hard time studying that subject too, if it’s not because of my good friend, who dragged me to library for the whole week to study the paper. Thank You Mr. S.L, for the time spent in the library with you, and thanks for your teachings too ya J


The second paper was computer networks, where it is a continuation from last semester’s "data communication". Also thanks to Mr. S.L, I am able to answer all the multiple choice questions for the test. As usual, we studied at the library during last weekends, and I did answer the paper with confidence, knowing that what I studied is sufficient to pull me through


The third paper, being Software Engineering, was the third and final paper before the break. My exam room is supposed to be CR2046, but in the end, the room is being booked for another exam. So we got to move up one floor to sit in CR3045 instead. Hmmm, talking about perfect booking of venue…..even exams can have venues clashing with each other…the paper was tricky, and some of my friends commented, that their lecturer haven’t teach them the chapters yet. Hehe…


Went over to CF right after the test, and Pastor Margeret was speaking on “Blessings and Cursing” It was a nice message, though I came in halfway because earlier on, I had an exam. The message was inspiring, and later we had worship session and also some announcements being made. The came the time where the Birthday babies from October last year till January this year were given a belated birthday celebration. 4 months before a celebration? U may ask… but then I think it’s because of lack of time to have it once a month, and also the funds factor I presumed. Each person were given birthday greeting token, and were prayed for by Annette,


The day ended with me being here typing out the entries for the life of Jowen , and hope the dear readers out there will enjoy reading it as much as I like typing it.

God bless ya people…Take Care.:D